The holidays can be such a magical time. The twinkling lights, the joy of the season and the feeling of connection that we feel with our fellow humans.
There’s not much else like it the rest of the year.
For Empaths it can also be a very draining time.
A time when as givers we can over give and deplete ourselves - leaving us sick, feeling disconnected and discombobulated.
A time when we as sensitive Beings, sense things that are going on, that may not be showing on the surface.
A time when being around so many other people can feel exhausting rather than joyful.
So here are some tips from a fellow Empath to help get through the holidays not only surviving them but you might even find yourself thriving when applied.
1) Energy Level check. Do you truly have the energy to go to that party? Do you have the resources (which are also energy) to give gifts to others?
Many times as Empaths we will push ourselves beyond our capacity (energetically, financially, physically, emotionally, mentally, humanly, etc). We do this because we care, because we anticipate feelings disappointment and guilt, because we do.
Checking in with energy levels first helps us collect more facts rather than base things off feelings or expectations.
So getting real with ourselves is important. Remember, the universe/Spirit/Source/the Divine/Goddess/god doesn’t want us to be depleted and sacrifice ourselves for others.
There is plenty to go around, so how can you give that IS within your ability and resources?
Just remember, the Universe is very creative. When we can tap into that, along with the newly accepted energy level, answers will come.
2) Really check in with your intentions. As Empaths we can also walk a fine line with Codependency. By that I mean we would rather sacrifice ourselves than feel another person’s negative emotions (disappointment, sadness, etc). And we end up doing something out of alignment rather than what’s in our highest good. Which by the way, is also in the highest good of all.
This can happen especially during the holidays when there is more societal pressure for life to be a certain way and we tend to want to show up and portray that.
So, asking yourself the hard truth questions:
- Why am I going/giving?
• Is it out of obligation? Tradition?
• Not wanting to feel left out?
- Am I trying to keep up appearances?
- What is the real reason I am doing this?
It’s not always pretty or easy to be honest with ourselves but it is a basis of being a trustworthy person. Not only to others, but also to yourself and your Soul.
3) Energy field Check In. Does this event feel like fun when you check in energetically? What do I mean by this? Close your eyes, take a deep breath, put all logistics aside and visualize yourself at the event/gathering/party. Does your energy become excited and expand? Or does it feel more constricted?
Trust the first sense you get. Even if you don’t like it. Especially if you don’t like it or it doesn’t make sense.
Energy is one way your soul uses to communicate with you. Taking the time (just a few minutes) to start building that relationship and check in makes it easier and quicker over time.
4) Intuition Invitation. Does your intuition give you the ‘green light’? Even though you may have the energy and something feels like fun, doesn’t mean that your intuition is guiding you there.
A couple of quick tips with Intuition:
- It’s subtle and neutral (doesn’t yell or scream),
- You have to quiet your mind in order to connect with it,
- It doesn’t make sense (logic is the ego’s responsibility).
((More on how to build a relationship with your intuition here))
5) Follow that. Then after receiving all of this information is to follow what has been shown.
Most likely there will be some resistance when it comes to this part.
Feel your feelings and still do it anyways.
This can sometimes be the most challenging step when starting on this journey. Especially if it’s something you really want to do, but your energy is feeling contracted. Or your intuition is sharing that something is off.
I get it. It’s new and different. And this can bring up feelings of sadness and frustration.
Which just means that your ego is having a hay day. It’s going to reiterate all the fears, perceptions and guilt and obligation.
Choosing your soul over what your ego is sharing with you is challenging when you first start practicing this. But remember, your soul knows what’s in your highest good. Your soul is always watching out for you and leading the way. And life goes so much more smoothly when you choose to live in alignment with your soul.
Drastically less amount of ‘course corrections’ - which can show up as challenges, feeling blocked and even chaos.
6) Recharging. How do you recharge your energy? How do you feel re-energized? Some recharge with alone time (introvert) and some recharge by being around others (extrovert). And yes, this is a continuum. It’s not one or the other. Some people can be mostly introverts and then feel recharged being around others in certain scenarios.
But knowing this part of yourself will help you know what you need energetically.
The important things are:
- to know how you feel recharged,
- then make appointments with yourself to recharge, and
- keep the appointments!
Then you can fully and wholly show up. All of you. In every way. And your presence is what others crave during this holiday season.
You will be able to give your excess and not your reserves.
7) Whose Energy is it? As an Empath it’s important to know whether you are feeling your own energy and feelings or someone else’s.
So, take a quick moment to ask yourself, “Is this mine or someone else’s?”
If it’s yours, then go on with, “What do I need?” Then do it.
If it’s someone else’s, then kindly notice it, release it back to the Universe and fill in your own energy field with your energy.
A quick visualization can be sufficient for this.
No need to over complicate it.
If you’d like my top 3 tips on quick energy, head over to this Free webinar.
8) Take a moment to lean into this moment. Yes, this is the cliche of ‘this moment is a gift that’s why we call it the present.’
Really challenge yourself to lean into that. Many times we know it (cerebrally or intellectually) but we don’t actually apply and practice it.
Many Empaths spend their time replaying the past or trying to anticipate future events that haven’t even happened.
So, yes, when things are happening and you are living your life, take a moment to FEEL the joy.
IN YOUR BODY (not in your head).
Allow the gratitude to spread throughout your physical Being.
Receive. Say thank you without feeling guilty or self deprecating.
You have full permission to allow your energy to expand with ease.
9) Receive. Yes, this is the season of giving. AND receiving.
As Empaths some common feelings are feeling like a burden to others, unworthiness or that others’ needs far surpass our own.
So we try to bypass receiving. We block off ways to receive. We even will downplay receiving.
One quick check in is -> how do you respond when someone compliments you?
Do you instantly deflect it? Downplay it? Reject it?
Do you feel uncomfortable?
Easily shift this by taking a deep breath in (receiving) and then exhale with, “thank you.”
When we receive we continue to be in the flow of being able to give. We’re back to the whole, ‘you can’t give from an empty cup’ thing. Remember, if we are not receiving then we are not able to give.
Allow the Law of Circulation to flow. Receive. Give. Repeat.
The other part of receiving is when you give to someone else, you feel huge amounts of joy, right? Well, the other person who is giving to you also feels that. When you deflect, deny or downplay a gift then you impact that joy. Maybe consider your receiving a gift for their giving.
This is one of the biggest dis-eases that I find among Empaths. Receiving is a lifelong lesson layered with intricate causes. But the good news is that it can be addressed and healed.
You can read more about it, here.
10) Find a way to feel helpful with the suffering.
Many times Empaths think of all the suffering in the world during this season instead of leaning into the joy.
Take a moment to consider that sympathy and feeling sorry for others isn’t helpful to raise their energies.
Instead, ask yourself, “What CAN YOU DO to uplift and hold them in the light?”
This season is about allowing the light to shine in the darkness. Many ancient traditions and various cultures all over the world still practice this today.
Some ideas:
- set up an altar for those you’d like to offer energies to,
- ask permission to pray for them,
- offer them Reiki, good juju or positive thoughts,
- make sure you always have something helpful with you when you come across someone in need,
- donate randomly to various websites (can be Non-Profit Organizations or GoFundMe or CaringBridge),
- you can read more about being a depleted change agent, here.
The point of all of this is there are MANY MANY tools out there for Empaths and how to live an empowered life, especially during the holidays, when the world is in chaos and when life is shifting at high speeds.
We do not have to be weighed down by the hurts of the world. Or take on other people’s energies or feelings in order to help relieve the suffering.
In fact this actually dis-empowers others and hinders the growth of the collective. When Empaths feel more empowered and able to become catalysts and stewards of energies, that’s when the world transforms to new levels and healing spreads at rapid rates.
Wishing you a soul aligned and thriving holiday season and life,
ashley koe
Wholistic Energy Stewardship Coach
Certified Reiki Master Teacher (CRMT),
Founder of Align & Thrive™
PS. If you’d like to find out more about how to align with your soul and thrive with ease, check out http://alignandthrive.com.
